Personal Dork Assistant

This is not good

Yeah, Rumsfeld is an idiot, no real revelations there. But the New Yorker article had some other ugly news as well:

"...the religious government in Tehran is now backing Iraq in the war. There isn't any Arab fighting group on the ground in Iraq who is with the United States," he said

A former U.S. intelligence officer put it this way: "The Syrians are coordinating with the Turks to screw us in the north to cause us problems." He added, "Syria and the Iranians agreed that they could not let an American occupation of Iraq stand."

The thought of Iran, Syria, and Turkey all working together is mind-boggling. And god knows what the Kurds are going to do once they're set loose. I don't think Turkey would wait around to find out, either.

Draft Day

8:30
Got my smoothie on. Set up the laptop next to the PC for maximum screen estate. IM draft and the roster spreadsheet windows on the PC monitor. Stats and reference spreadsheets on the PowerBook.

9:00
Check into the draft chatroom. The league is mostly UMich Law School guys and their friends, or friends of friends, in my case. Sam calls in. He does the bidding, I feed him with the useful (yet so useless) trivia. Good thing he has unlimited night-and-weekend calling. I really should talk to Sprint about my sucky calling plan.

9:29
Jason Varitek is the first player taken, bought for $8 by the Red Sox fan. There's always one in the bunch.

9:31
Okay, here comes the big guns. Vlad goes for $46 (after we bid $45), Giles for $38.

9:34:12
Couldn't hold ourselves back and pick up Todd Helton for $39. Love the Coors Field production, hate the back pain. Yeah, we overpaid. Happens to everybody early.

9:45
More high bidding for the stars. A-Rod, Jason G, Sosa. Boring. Then the big one:

jimiih3: #25, BARRY BONDS!!! - $29

Okay, The Man ain't gonna come cheap, but the stuff he's been doing is so off-the-scale that people are hesitant to make the outlandish bids that he might actually be worth. The bids rise quickly. We drop the big round number at $45. Amit hesitantly raises to $46, no doubt thinking that the magical One Plus Round Number bid will take it. We drop the $47 hammer down with no hesitation and take it home. Yeah, we just spent $86 out of our $271 budget for 2 out of 24 players, but it ain't gonna do us any good to leave any of it on the table.

10:19
Grab our first pitcher with Jason Schmidt for $19. 1K per inning is pretty nice for a starting pitcher, but his other stats probably weren't worth the price. The budget depleting at a sickening pace.

11:40
Grab Ray Durham ($21), Eric Chavez ($26), Keith Foulke ($18). We must look like the biggest roto scrubs in the world, as overpaying for hometown guys is the hallmark of rotisserie suckitude. Hey, at least our local teams are pretty darn good.

1:38
Pick up Hideki Matsui for $16. Hope those Japanese stats translate well to American. He's been good in Spring Training, anyway. There's a surprising amount of talent still on the board, too bad we don't have enough money left to do much about it.

1:59
Spent a frighteningly large chunk of our remaining money ($20) on Scott Rolen. Good value, though. We now have the best third basemen in the National and American League. Can you say "trade bait"?

2:16
Got Rich Aurilia for $9, which is a steal, IMHO. Should bounce back with a nice year after healing up from last year's nagging injuries. Coming back from a scoped elbow in two weeks is admirable, but he definitely wasn't 100%. Besides, he's hitting in front of Barry. Now we just need Jose Cruz Jr. and we'll have the top four spots in the Giants' batting order.

2:39
Picked up Russ Ortiz at $7. Now we're even going after former Giants. Can't go wrong with Atlanta pitchers and Rockies hitters, though.

3:53
Tried to get some help with Saves by grabbing Matt Mantei for $7. Yeah, he's got the closing job on a good team, but the injury history is spooky, and it kills me to have to root for the Diamondbacks.

4:07
The dream dies as Jose Cruz Jr. goes to someone else. We just couldn't afford $9 at this point.

5:30
As the draft winds down, it's all about the $1 Specials. Get Kip Wells, Brandon Phillips, Jeff Nelson, Steve Kline, Joe Kennedy, and Damian Miller that way. Lose out on Dotel and Rhodes because Pat smoked us with his $2 bids. His Hank Blalock For A Buck deal might be a steal, too.

5:38:48
For the very final pick of the draft, we got Mark Kotsay for a buck. Damn good all-around player for the last pick. He's great in the clubhouse, too. Too bad that doesn't count for jack in rotisserie.

All in all, it was a pretty mediocre draft for us, which ain't bad considering we had just about no preparation. Overpaid for home-team guys, which limited us later on, especially for pitching. Should've bit the bullet on a couple more mid-priced pitchers. Time to scour the free agent lists for some more pitching, an extra outfield bat or two, and a versatile infielder.

Moving Pictures

Nothing new about anime on Cartoon Network. The old-school Warner Brothers cartoons have been relegated to the purgatory of high-number digital channels. But up until now, they've been running futuristic sci-fi shows like Gundam or mindless fighting (a.k.a. Dragonball), and let's not even get into the disguised ads that are Pokemon, Yu Gi Oh, etc. Even Cowboy Bebop, which is a big-budget show with a good story and excellent production values, is very much a Japanese interpretation of an American-style story.

Cartoon Network is becoming a little more adventurous, though. They added Inu Yasha, which is at least set in a Japanese milieu, albeit a fantastic wuxia version thereof. If nothing else, at least the girls have black hair and (really big) brown eyes. I might even consider getting it on DVD if it weren't $20 for a DVD with only three episodes each for a 110+ episode show. Rurouni Kenshin started this week, and the setting is based on serious Japanese history in the Meiji era. It's been a benchmark for the hard-core anime fan, and now it's being shown on the most mainstream outlet of all. Of course, it's the dubbed version, so the otakus can still cling to the superiority of their subtitled DVDs.

Even then, subtitling is no panacea. For a historical fantasy, it's difficult to separate the creative additions in the show from the historical and mythic framework of the culture, unless one has some understanding of the appropriate contexts. Taking anime, or any foreign cultural product, entirely at face value can lead to unintended interpretations. Some will see incredibly rich and fresh stories when it's really recycled tropes borrowed directly from the cultural databank. Others will wonder what the big deal is, confused by a presentation that assumes a common cultural context to fill in the background and connect the dots. And it doesn't seem like Japanese really translates well into English anyway. The International Channel is running Fushigi Yugi, and there was some overlap with the episodes I saw in Taiwan. The Chinese subtitles in Taiwan probably weren't perfect, but it scanned a whole lot better than the stiff English translations. Any significance in proper names is lost in transliterating it to English, compared to the direct importation of the kanji characters and their meaning into the Chinese subtitle. This gets to be a big problem in Soul Hunter (also on the International Channel), which is based on a Chinese historical story plus lots of wuxia elements and typical shonen anime schtick. It's a bit muddled even if you can separate the components and know the background story, and it becomes hopelessly convoluted for the ignorant Westerner. The dub decides to stick with the Japanese transliteration for many of the proper nouns, which gives it a bit of atmosphere, but at the expense of turning a good bit of the dialog into gobbledygook, as Mr. Ekjwnajwq's "wekrjnmsjkx" attack defeats the "zioupwq" technique thereby winning the "aqnnzziuq" item. Whereas seeing their kanji/Chinese names would give meaning to all the random words. It's all quite frustrating.

For Fuck's Sake

If you're going to make a movie about a woman who always gets dumped on by creepy guys, don't cast a tall, gorgeous former model in the role. Makes it a little difficult to be sympathetic, you know. Good thing I have 160 gigabytes for the Tivo.

In these troubled times,

In these troubled times, it's important to remind ourselves what makes America great: mass-produced cream-filled yellow mini sponge cakes. I hope I haven't turned into a big food snob who can't handle a Twinkie or three when the time calls for overly-sweet junk food. Although the globs of trans fats in Twinkies are a little worrisome. The local Ralphs stocks Tastykakes, too. I might have to give them a try sometime, even if they probably aren't any healthier than the competing Hostess products.

It's True Love When...

...you go Kazaa-ing up John Mayers songs for the girlfriend in the middle of the night.

And how pathetic is it to make up a sucky music list by copying-and-pasting the top of the Billboard charts? It just screams, "wannabe punk who reflexively rejects anything remotely popular so I can be cooler than everyone else." I mean, ripping on Britney doesn't exactly put you at the cutting edge. For that, there's always the new Yo La Tengo album.

Walked down to Peets

Walked down to Peets Coffee for coffee beans (interesting comparison between the Peets' demographic and the people hanging out at Starbucks across the street). Picked up half a pound of Major Dickason's Blend, and got a small cup of the coffee-of-the-day (Viennese Blend) for free. Still had a cup's worth of the New Crop Pacific Blend left in the cupboard, too, so I had a little taste test. My conclusion? They all tasted very coffee-y. Also meant that I had three cups of coffee this morning. Good thing I'm not writing this with a pen. Funny how I hated drinking the Chinese herb medicine when I was little, but now I'm paying good money for cups of hot, bitter, black liquid.

There were a few raindrops when I steppd out, but decided to keep going instead of going back for an umbrella. By the time I left Peets it was pouring rain, and I wore a shopping bag on my head as I walked home, because I wouldn't want the rain to ruin my hair. The weekend maintenance crew for the office building next door were hard at work for the weekend. The poor bastards, on the first rainy day in at least two months, were washing the fountain out front with a water jet, in the rain. Did manage to drive out into the rain for a while so the car can be rinsed off. Now I won't have to wash the car 'til summer.

You're a Winner!

More evidence that geeks ruin everything:

My mom has told me to get rid of all of my headphones except for the freebie stock came-with-Walkmen types...

The truth is, I will never be at all satisfied with those cheapies. I must always have one or two really good (and expensive) headphones. And I know that my good headphones need some upgrading of my sources and amps in order to sound at their full potential. But she doesn't want me to even upgrade my sources, let alone keep my good 'phones!

Headphone Inventory AKG K240DF Etymotic ER-4S Grado SR-60 Grado SR-80 Grado SR-225 Koss KSC-35 Koss KSC-50 Koss Porta Pro Sennheiser HD 280PRO Sennheiser MX 500 Sennheiser HD 497 Sennheiser HD 600 Sony MDR-E888LP Sony MDR-7506

Source Inventory iRiver SlimX iMP-350 Panasonic SL-CT470 (broken) Panasonic SL-CT790 Panasonic SL-SW850 Sony CDP-C265 Sony D-EJ721 Sony D-EJ1000 Sony MZ-R500 Sony MZ-N707 Technics SL-QD33 Turntable

Oh, actually I'm working part-time at a supermarket. And I'm still on Team CC Debt.

My education level has never been past college freshman; I've flunked out of college! I don't even have anything past a high-school diploma - and all of those higher-paying jobs require at least a full bachelor's degree in college, and at least five years' job experience! And all of those higher-paying jobs require me to drive to work (since those jobs are all located at places where no bus or train even comes close to serving), and my drivers licence had been permanently revoked due to repeated moving violations!!

Yeah, it's true. I will really be 38 next week. (Wednesday of next week, to be exact.) And yeah, until June of 2001 I never had a job of any sort outside of the family business (which is now closed).

Of course, this guy has posted often enough to the forum to be anointed as moderator.

Non Sequitur

I usually love Non Sequitur, especially the strips with Danae. But really, mime jokes? That's weak. I guess everyone has a bad day once in a while.

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

I've been using the Peets debit card for my caffeine needs because there's a 5% discount, but it means that I don't have any change to drop in the tip jar. So I stuffed a dollar bill into the jar this morning to make up for my sins. Even though he didn't see me tip, the cashier was nicer than usual, and he pre-warmed my cup with hot water. The barista filled my large-ish cup to the brim with freshly frothed milk even though I ordered a medium latte. Even the cranberry-apple muffin had more apple chunks than usual. Now if only they would make an apple-apple muffin.

Inflation?

The gym replaced the old Stairmasters with some new elliptical steppers. The orbiting motion is smoother and less jarring than the old up-and-down, and there are even swinging arm bars to get the upper body involved. Even with all the bells and whistles, though, we're still basically walking in place. So the same brand, at the same exercise level, running the same 30-minute workout routine, but the new machine says I burned 300 calories vs. 200 on the old machine. Hmm.... Well, if it's trustworthy, I can have an extra cookie or something.

They put in a new scale, too, which confirmed my suspicion that the $5 WalMart spring scale is a piece of junk. Good news is that despite spending way too much time sitting on my ass, I'm still under 60 kilos. Yay genetics. On the other hand, I should probably lay off the sugary pastries for breakfast. Gotta watch out for diabetes. Boo genetics.

Priorities

Is President Bush trying to make himself less popular? Even if he had Osama on a leash (which he didn't), why is he preempting Survivor and Friends? Thank God I'm on the west coast, and Tivo could do its work without interruption. Should've shorted the stocks today, since a Bush speech is pretty much a guaranteed triple-digit losing day for the Dow.

Let me know when the bombs start dropping on Baghdad.

Cool Prof

I might have learned something in my stat classes if the professor taught via limericks.

O, sing to the glory of stat!
Of sigma, x-bar and y-hat
The joy and elation
Of squared correlation —
Does anyone here believe that?

I should endow a Fund for Snow and Ice Removal at the old alma mater. 50 bucks should cover it. Although you never know what someone might pull on Ditch Day. Does liquid nitrogen count?

Haven't walked into Tower

Haven't walked into Tower Records for a long time because, frankly, their prices suck. On the other hand, buying CDs from big-box retailers and online stores have put me in a rut because I have to know what I want before I buy, so it's hard to try new things. I wanted some instant gratification for The Beauty of the Rain, and with gas nearing two bucks a gallon, it was probably cheaper to walk to Towers instead of driving to Best Buy for the disc.

So there I was, and it was nice to be in a store designed to display music instead of a store for TV, appliances, computers, and music. The listening stations were dominated by electronica of various sorts. That actually makes sense since they can't really push dance music via MTV or radio. Hey, it made me buy something. Can't believe that I'm taking music advice from Peter Gammons, but the new American Hi-Fi album was cheap, and it can't be all bad if Zito and Beane dig it.

Best ad copy at the listening station goes to Euro Dance Party, which is suppose to let you, "Experience a European club night without leaving the comforts of home!" Now I may be the most pathetic loner in the universe, but even I won't be popping in a second-rate mix CD and pretending to have a Euro dance party by myself.