Personal Dork Assistant

B00bies (animated section)

Hentai DVD's on sale at Digital Eyes. If you buy more than three you get free Media Mail shipping.

"Shipping Status - Street Date 02/11/03"

Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball sold 72,881 copies on the first day in Japan, which put it as the #1 title in Japan for the week. Who knew they loved Dennis Rodman so much?

15 Days Until Pitchers and Catchers Report

Not real impressed with the Giants' Hot Stove Heater summary on ESPN. Probably because it doesn't say anything I didn't know already. Not a good sign that J.T. Snow is one of only two guys in the line-up who's expected to play better next year (plus Rich Aurilia, who was hurt most of the season). And if signing Reggie Sanders was a (good) signficant move from last season, then I guess that makes the Jose Cruz Jr. signing look pretty good, too. Would've liked to see more analysis of the young pitchers' potential effects, but that's what the minor league report is for. Maybe the report just seems boring because in spite of all the shuffling, the team doesn't look a whole lot different from last year, not that it's a bad thing, but regression to the mean can be a bitch.

A Cry For Help

I'm addicted to Fox reality shows. It was one thing when I was watching The Amazing Race, The Mole (no, the Celebrity Hawaii version doesn't count), or Survivor. At least they featured exotic locales and required some smarts on the part of the contestants. But when it comes to Joe Millionaire or American Idol, there's no redeeming value other than the power of snark. Although now that the audition phase is over in American Idol, you don't get the joy of watching the judges rip apart delusional fools who thought they could sing (with full cooperation of the producers, of course). And who would've thought that the butler would be the real star of the show on Joe-not-a-Millionaire? Maybe that's not surprising, since any woman who'd sign up for this show couldn't be the sharpest knife in the drawer, and heaven knows that Joe (a.k.a. Evan) sure ain't. Gotta love the off-camera slurping action (complete with subtitled sound-effects), though, as Fox seems to realize that the viewers don't want to like these people, and edited the show appropriately.

In a Name

I'm not as huge a fan of The Onion as many people. The irony overload just gets to be too much after a while, and truth is stranger than fiction anyway. But hey, sometimes they can be pretty damn funny, too.

Super Bowl Sunday

Boy, the Raiders sure stunk it up good at the Super Bowl. I mean, when even Al Davis is at a loss for words, you know it was a major ass whoopin'. Now I know how those Chargers fans felt when the Niners took them behind the woodshed in Super Bowl XXIX. Hell, it was more fun to watch the reruns of the U.S. Figure Skating Champtionships on ESPN.

With my ingrained surfing habits, I kept switching channels at the beginning of the commerical break, before remembering that the ads are the best part of the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, even the Super Bowl ads were lame. Maybe the dotcoms were good for something after all. The Gatorade ad featuring Michael, Michael, and Michael would've been the best ad, except it's old hat already, which says something (bad) for the quality of the newcomers.

At least there was food and drink. Hit Whole Foods Market last night. So there was hot Italian sausage on a demi-baguette slathered with Dijon mustard and covered with saut�ed onion and bell pepper. Tossed in some olives for extra flavor, too. And did I mention how much I love this Czech beer? Also got a real block of parmesan cheese (instead of the usual powdery stuff), which pretty much commits me to pasta-ish foods for the next week or two. Sadly, mold on parmesan probably doesn't make it any tastier.

Nobody Gives a Shit

The Untold Agony of Black-on-Black Murder

LA Times

The problem "is sad, and frustrating, and infuriating," he concluded. "Sad, because black men like me are dying. Frustrating, because all day, I'm just patching holes here. Infuriating, because they are shooting at each other."

Hey, they don't give a shit either.

The Independent (UK)

A former black gang member ? Scorcher, if you please ? says he is sure that these victims weren't "gangsta bitches but that they were well connected and there will be reprisals for this". How reassuring on both counts. So it is OK to waste "gangsta bitches" and those who may be members of the gang who did this?

In Other News...

Commercials featuring busty blonde twins helps to sell beer to young men.

Actually, the busty ladies don't have to be twins. We don't mind.

"Every time I see it, I cringe," says Laura Ries, an image guru. "It's explicit. It's degrading. It has no real message, except all men are idiots and all they think about are girls mud wrestling."

Hey, the more you eat, the bigger you get. Imagine that. McDonalds has a losing quarter for the first time ever. So maybe there's hope.

It's not easy being green

You know, I recycle as much as I can. I drive a fuel efficient car, instead of a fuel-guzzling (but tax efficient) monstrosity. I try not to order chilean sea bass (a.k.a. the Patagonian toothfish) at restaurants. I'm willing to give composting a try if I move into a house instead of an apartment. But now they're going after dried shark fin. Yes, I know killing sharks only for their fin is gruesome and wasteful. Even with the overfishing, shark fin soup is expensive and frankly, the sharks' fin doesn't actually add any flavor to the soup. It's more of a texture and body thing. On the other hand, it's usually a really good bowl of soup, too.

Damn it, it's not like we eat tiger penis or rhino horns, which probably don't even taste that good. How about we save the sea cucumber instead? I can get by without eating sea cucumbers.

Are you feeling inadequate?

How's a man suppose to compete with a 10-foot concrete vibrator (with a 1-3/8" head)?

Weekend in Sports

Those were a couple of exciting but convincing wins for the Buccaneers and Raiders in the NFL conference championship games. Tampa Bay actually looked more solid from top to bottom, with the expected dominance by the defense and the unexpected ease in moving the ball against Philly. Well, there were a couple of special team lapses, but not sure if the Raiders can really take advantage of that.

The Raiders-Titans game was precariously close as the first half was running down, but those Titans turnovers really, really hurt. The Raiders put the pedal to the metal in the second half, and not even Steve McNair's studliness could keep up. But there were some warning signs. Only one (non-QB) running play in the first three quarters? Even if it's by (effective) design, one would think they'll have to be more balanced against Tampa Bay's defense. Despite the big turnovers, the defense gave up a few too many big plays, although McNair was a big part of that, and the penalties (14 for 127 yards) was flat out ridiculous. Do you really want Sebastian Janikowski standing over the kick to win the Super Bowl?

Michelle Kwan was pretty much perfect at the US National Figure Skating Championships (unlike the men). The program was so clean that the only reason she didn't get more perfect 6.0 scores was because she skated first in the group, so the judges had to leave room in case another girl deserved higher ordinals. Technically they might've had a case, since Michelle didn't do a triple-triple combination, but nobody was going to pass her in Presentation, and there was one 6.0 there. She was beautiful, confident, crowd-inspiring. Of course, "the Vera Wang costume really rounds out the whole package," according to Peggy Fleming. That's why we love figure skating, right? I feel kinda bad for the girls that finish 4th and get shut out of Olympics and World Championship spots because Michelle has taken up a spot for so long, but then I also feel bad when every news story about Michelle Kwan has to include the caveat "sheneverwonOlympicgold." And is it just me, or is Sarah Hughes a lot blonder this year?

While Michelle Kwan was skating her short program, Yao Ming was bumping and grinding against Shaquille O'Neal. After only three months in the US, Yao's already doing commericals. Welcome to America, dude. Back to the game. Sure, Shaq had better stats, but not much above his season average, even though people were predicting that an inspired Shaq Daddy would steamroll the Chinaman. Yao was strong enough on defense so that his teammates didn't have to give him too much help, and hey, his team won the game. Now if Houston would only learn to run some honest-to-goodness half court sets and involve him in an offensive system.

As the favorites, Alinghi won the right to challenge for the America's Cup, ironically by knocking out the last American team in the Challenger Series. Oracle BMW had some boat speed advantage in low winds and calmer seas, especially downwind, but their optimal window was much smaller than Alinghi's, and it just seemed like every single wind shift and break went Alinghi's way. Not surprising, really, since the heart of the "Swiss" team consists of the Kiwis that won the two previous Cups for New Zealand. This hasn't made Russel Coutts and friends very popular with the home folks. It adds a little spice to the main race, anyway. The America's Cup needs all the publicity it can get, considering that it's an obscure sport involving no American teams taking place in a country about as far away from the US as you can get. Oh well, I'm sure they'll scare up a few more billionaires to compete for the next Cup.

Jos� Hernandez? WTF are the Giants thinking? No, he's not that bad, but where are they going to play him? Maybe they'll just use him for DH duty on road interleague games. And making Felix Rodriguez available? I hope for season's sake that the Giants front office isn't stupid enough to buy into the myth of the closer. But hope doesn't get you too far in baseball.

Your Boss is not your friend

Hasn't Bill Simmons ever seen The Player? Just because your boss invites you over to his house, "featuring a 100-foot big screen with accompanying 42-inch, widescreen plasma screens on either side," to watch some football ("with people coming and going all day, with enough food and drink to handle the entire neighborhood") doesn't mean you'll be getting any love if the show tanks. It's not a good sign that the writers are bigger celebrities (among certain demographics) than the host. More folks probably read ESPN.com than watch The Man Show. And Joel from MST3K is also on the writing staff. Although they probably don't have the big screen TV's like Jimmy. "The lesson, as always: It's good to be the king."

I finished my first "shoot" and wrapped my first "piece." I met the cute Mom from "The Gilmore Girls," as well as Ben Stein, Kathy Griffin and the Armenian Comedian. I spent an inordinate amount of time brainstorming with Adam Carolla, who's some sort of comedy savant.

Like a lamb to slaughter. Even if the buzz is good, for now.

Capitalism in Action

Made my first sale on EBay. More to clean out the closet than trying to make money, really. Hey, if someone out there wants to learn all about MacOS 7.5.5, more power to him. EBay announced earnings today, "shattering Q4 targets." Coincidence? I don't think so.

Microsoft decided to hand out dividends, trying to placate the market after making only $2.55 billion in profits last quarter. The $0.16 annual dividend is pretty much a token gesture, but if Bush's tax cut goes through, it's another 100 million tax-free dollars for Bill Gates. Good to see that the Bush economic plan won't just benefit the rich.

Geez, the price for

Geez, the price for wireless networking hardware has fallen through the floor. $39 for a wireless router and $29 for a PCMCIA card, even if the prices are after rebate, is testament to the power of globalized mass production. The new Linksys gadgets are cool, too. The WET11 wireless bridge makes much more sense than the stupid USB dongles, since the WET11 allows any Ethernet device to hook up to the wireless network without extra drivers. Handy doodad to get the XBox, PS2, Tivo, or HTPC in the living room hooked up to the router in the closet without running Cat5, although the (Series 2) Tivo is due to get support for USB wireless adapters in the next software update in April. The new WSB24 signal booster might actually let my computer reach the wireless router from the living room at home. Smart of them to make a router with mediocre wireless range, then sell another accessory to boost the signal. Although the lousy reception of the Titanium Powerbook is the main culprit there.

FoodTV is a fun

FoodTV is a fun channel with some redeeming value even if you're just vegetating. It's possible to learn something through osmosis even if you don't go and try to replicate their recipes. Shows like Good Eats and The Naked Chef explains simple concepts well and makes cooking accessible. Iron Chef is way over the top, but the chefs manage to make great food (squid ink ice cream aside) under the spotlight with incredible time pressure. And Emeril is Emeril (BAM!).

Then there's Passion for Desserts, where an ernest Frenchman tries to convince you that it's all really easy. Sure, if you're a Meilleur Ouvrier de France. Considering that a butane torch is standard equipment and that recipes start out with first-aid instructions, it brings to mind Owen Wilson's infamous quote from the Shanghai Knights commercial, "What in our history together makes you even think I'm capable of something like that?" It would be easier to fly to Paris and have a pastry (and a plate of macaroons) at Ladur�e than making it yourself. Believe me, it's worth it, too.

Peter Gammons is an optimist

Yes, Buck Showalter should "make a huge difference," and it's a given that they'll hit, but are the Rangers really a Team a lot better than what we think? After a 5.26 ERA out of their starters, they lose their best starter, and sign John Thomson to give them two starters (along with Chan Ho Park) with all of nine wins. Their overall ERA was 5.16, so at least their relievers were a little better than the starters, not that it means much.

Now adding Ugueth Urbina, Esteban Yan, Rudy Seanez and Aaron Fultz to Todd Van Poppell, Francisco Cordero and Jay Powell should hold leads that so often melted in 2002.

Contribute to the Economy

Spend more money at Best Buy with their Preferred Customer Weekend coupons.

• 10% off of any single electronics item
• 10% off of one TV $299 and up
• 10% off of Games, Movies, and Music, up to five items

Unfortunately, even putting a plasma TV on the old credit card won't do much to create jobs. Good thing that the President is very concerned, and he's not the only one. Clearly, what's needed is a bold tax cut, which will stimulate additional economic activity and create even more tax revenue than before the tax cut. The large shareholders, which benefit the most from the elimination of the dividend tax, will spend the money and help everyone. Oh wait, we already tried that. On the other hand, it means that dad can dump his crappy municipal bond fund and put the money into dividend paying stocks. Oh, and my $25.72 in dividend payments last quarter will be safe from the IRS, too. If the dividend tax cut applies to private partnerships, then what the heck, Bush can have my vote. Self-righteous egalitarianism only goes so far.

Canned air is great

Canned air is great for flushing out the new coffee grinder, although the first blast does tend to spray grounds all over the counter. Should've picked up another couple of cans when Frys had them on sale last weekend. Didn't think I would use it very often when I got some for blasting the dust off the fins of the Athlon heat sink. Hopefully the stuff doesn't leave cancer-causing residues. Of course, there's probably plenty of cancer-causing stuff in the coffee already. It's amazing what kind of funky organic molecules a little roasting can create. It's kinda silly to spend almost an order of magnitude more money for the grinder than for the coffee maker, but anything that reduces the amount of french-press leftover sludge on the bottom of the cup is a good thing.

Came over the Grapevine

Came over the Grapevine around 7:30pm and was ready to refuel myself (refueled the car on Laval Rd. and got raped on the gas prices, should've stopped in Lost Hills instead). Once I reentered civilization, I stopped by the first In-n-Out I saw, just north of Magic Mountain. "Capacity: 92 Guests," the sign said, and there were just about that many people in the place. There were families with kids, groups of teenagers, and couples of all sorts. Far as I could tell, I was the only person eating alone. Hey, at least I had a good excuse. Sat next to an older white couple with their crisp clothes and church brochures as the guy complained about the Koreans taking over various LA neighborhoods. The younger couple to my other side had their cheeseburgers Protein Style, but like the other lady I saw with Protein Style burgers, they also had order of fries to go with their carbo-less burgers. What's wrong with these people? The buns are good. The woman had a gleaming diamond ring on her left hand. My god, these people are breeding.

The self-similar pattern of big-box malls and fast food joints blur together as I drive through the length of LA. But it's not a totally homogenized soup, from the new developments in the Antelope Valley, to the rundown heart of central LA, through the Orange Crush to Mickey Mouseland and the affluent beach suburbs of southern Orange County (noticed a new 99 Ranch Market along I-5 in Irvine), there's enough subtle differences and distinctive communities to make... something. Not sure if it's meaningful or representative, but there's definitely something. Maybe LA is the future, or at least half of it. Sugar Land is the affluent suburbian LA reflected through the bizarro mirror, and more places probably aspire to be Sugar Land than Los Angeles. Not surprised to see the chinks buy in (24% Asian vs. 8% Hispanic in a Texas city?). Good school and cheap houses will do it every time. Not that different from the story of Monterey Park and the rest of the San Gabriel Valley, really.

Accomplishments at Home

• Beat the Omega Pirate and collecting all twelve Chozo Artifacts in Metroid Prime.
• Calibrated the 81-point convergence of the Sony RPTV in service mode.
• Put the rear speakers on real stands instead of on stools, thanks to Parts Express.
• Convinced the folks that a widescreen plasma TV is a complete waste of money for watching news and Chinese soaps.
• Put the center speaker on a stool in front and below the TV instead of in the pre-wired cubby-hole above it. It puts the speaker more in line with the listener and takes it out of the echo box, which should increase clarity. Yeah, putting the speaker on a stool sucks, but I couldn't find an economical way to get a single 17" speaker stand.
• Finally beat Level 15 in Advanced Mode of Super Monkey Ball, after about 1098374020 dead monkeys died in the attempt. Tried to look for a shortcut, except the guide wasn't much help: "The only thing that can really be said about this level is to practice alot."
• Fixed the CD-ROM module of the Powerbook 1400 so that it'll recognize CDs again.
• Fixed up the beige G3 for 朱伯伯 to replace the PowerMac 7100, so he can actually browse the web and play mah-jong.
• Good three-player games of Carcassone with dad and Sam. Wanted to pick up another German game when I went down to Berkeley, but Games of Berkeley had virtually nothing on the shelf. Very disappointing.

Hopefully someone will come

Hopefully someone will come by and take a look at the house after some nagging from our real estate agent. With the recent rainstorms, some defects have become apparent. A big bubble formed in the paint of the kitchen ceiling from the water seeping through. It actually began leaking during the night of the last storm, enough to get the bucket out, but not before we got up in the morning, which meant that the kitchen floor got a good soaking. Now the hardwood floor is warping and rippling. There's also water leaking near the bay windows in the living room and seeping through the carpet in the master bedroom. All the leaks seems to be near outside drainage pipes, which explains why the leaks showed up during the rain. Good thing the storms were big enough to soak through the wood and force the water through, otherwise we might not have found about about the leaks until the wood rotted. As it is, this doesn't have the look of a cheap thing to fix. Maybe if we have to rip out enough of the wall we can redo the interior wiring while we're at it. More Cat5 and RG6 would be nice.

Apparently the Chinese restaurants

Apparently the Chinese restaurants were the only ones open, since all the places at the Pacific East mall were doing good business tonight, with more non-Chinese folks than usual. Managed to make it through the entire meal without speaking to cousin David, who just got back from Taiwan today (rest of them are flying back next week). It would be easier to make small-talk with an absolute stranger instead of knowing just enough to have nothing to talk about. Slightly curious as to where on the web he got the plasma TV from, but didn't care enough to make the effort.

Happy New Year

Mom's going around replacing all the 2002 calendars with the 2003 calendars she picked up. There are calendars from 99 Ranch Market, Oakland Market in Chinatown, China Airlines (which she doesn't even fly anymore), her old bank, plus one from her friend's daughter's bank in LA. Got a bigger kick out of the New Year celebration in Animal Crossing than the old Dick Clark on TV. Now there are the endless stream of football games on TV, although it was better when the four major bowls were all on New Year's Day instead of dragging out over the week, and Keith Jackson should be doing the Rose Bowl. There's always the Iron Chef marathon on Food TV, or special New Year Japanese variety shows on KTSF. Yes, this day is all about passive entertainment.