Personal Dork Assistant

Model Minority

I can't decide what's the worst, Asian who wanna be white, Asian who wanna be black, or Asians who wanna be Asian.

Hey, I could be this guy if we'd moved to, say, Texas, instead of the greater-Berkeley metropolitan area.

Chen seemed so mild and centrist that at one point I called him a closet Democrat. Taken aback, he replied: "How am I a closet Democrat? I'm racist, I love guns and I hate welfare."

He wasn't kidding. "I'm racist against anybody who doesn't work for a living," said Chen, whose family comes from Taiwan. "We're in Washington D.C. You can guess who that is." He's no fan of religion, but says he's less bothered about paying tax dollars to faith-based programs than to "crack whores who have eight kids because it's easier than working."

Boy, what a spoiled prick. Not to say that I'm any better, but at least I'm not joining national organizations to promote my prickiness.