Personal Dork Assistant

Worst Product Name, 2008

The intrinsically awkward shape of a DSLR camera and associated lenses means that one is always on the lookout for the perfect bag to hold it all. ThinkTank Photo has carved out quite a niche for itself among the enthusiasts with their low-key no-nonsense designs that efficiently hold plenty of gear without screaming to the world that expensive optical gear is contained within. It's good stuff at a good price, i.e. a bit beyond my bag budget for now, but I was still drawn to check out the website when I heard that they're rolling out new products just in time for the holidays.

The new Urban Disguise 35 seems like a perfect mid-point in the established line of shoulder bags. With a 13" laptop pocket, it holds about as much gear as can be comfortably carried on one shoulder for a day out. The updated Airport 2.0 series of roller cases is way overkill for me but should be good for the hard-core pro trying to carry-on as much gear as possible. There's also plenty of doodads like lens cases, rain covers, and other sundries for the photographic nomad.

But after taking a few trips with a shoulder-carry camera bag and coming home with a torqued spine from the uneven weight distribution, I was more interested in a backpack-type solution. The Airport series are big and designed for transport and not as much daily carry. The Rotation 360 is a bit too funky in design, not to mention crazy $$$. However, ThinkTank was ready to blow the doors off with their latest series of photo-backpacks. The description certainly sounded right on the money.

Designed for use in urban and crowded environments, this slim, lightweight backpack backpack is sized as an international travel carry-on. It will hold up to a Pro-size DSLR with a 400 2.8 attached.

So what do they call this marvelous new backpack? How does the Streetwalker Pro sound?

Huh? This ain't no Oriental company flogging badly translated Chinglish. The TTP folks based in Santa Rosa have a boatload of journalists on their advisory board, any of whom presumably could have told them the primary meaning of the word "streetwalker."

• a prostitute who attracts customers by walking the streets
• Street prostitution is a specific form of prostitution in which the sex worker operates from the street.
• A prostitute who conducts business on streets and other public places; A cheap prostitute

Now there's the kind of rock-solid, high-end brand-image that you want for your professional product. Explaining the purchase to the wife might be a bit tricky.

"Oh honey, I spend that money picking up the new Streetwalker."

Probably wouldn't go over well, even if I did clarify that it's a camera bag, considering what I've spent on photo gear already. Actually, for 150 bucks is just about the market rate for a good time at a China KTV bar, and the camera can go in any old bag instead. So you can decide how to best spend the sum, depending on how you get your kicks.