Personal Dork Assistant

Fucking Hilarious

Damn it, I usually expect the Obscure Store to be more cynical. They decided to call this story "tragic." I disagree.

Alex Plucknett would have turned 15 next week, an athletic Jacksonville eighth-grader with all the hopes and dreams of adolescence ahead of him...

Witnesses told deputies Alex Plucknett was in a ditch next to a tree about 225 yards from the camp, when someone yelled, "Hog!"

Dennis Plucknett grabbed his .308-caliber Ruger rifle with scope, steadied his shot on the hood of a bus and told police he fired one round at something black he saw moving in the distance...

"Dennis and Jon immediately ran in the direction where Dennis thought he shot the hog, only to discover Alex lying on the ground with a gunshot wound to the back of his head," wrote Baker County Officer Charles Goldsmith. "Alex was wearing a black toboggan cap with a camouflage jacket without a reflective vest."

He died at the scene.

One-shot kill from 225 yards out. Man, that would be a good show at Fort Benning. That or Counterstrike.