Personal Dork Assistant

Can you feel the dripping sarcasm?

Mix with your favorite Wall Street or Middle East diaster-du-jour and you've got a nice front page layout for the morning paper.

On his final day before a monthlong respite from Washington at his Texas ranch, the 56-year-old fitness fanatic has an early morning appointment for a battery of tests at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, where more than a dozen doctors � military and civilian � declared him in "outstanding health" last year...

In the past year, Bush has shaved several seconds off his personal best for running three miles, now routinely covering the distance in less than 21 minutes, increased his weightlifting prowess and launched a White House program to encourage out-of-shape Americans to exercise more, eat healthier and stop smoking.