Personal Dork Assistant

More Insensitive Blather

More wordy self-pity for the Slashdot crowd.

We graded them from A to E. A tables were full of football players and cheerleaders and so on. E tables contained the kids with mild cases of Down's Syndrome, what in the language of the time we called "retards." We sat at a D table, as low as you could get without looking physically different. Our table was populated by complete nerds, cases of delayed pubescence, and recent immigrants from China.

I'm surprised they didn't relegate the Chinese immigrants to the retard table. Clearly, what they needed was an Asian school system, where being a 5-foot guy with glasses and good grades is an asset. Of course, kids in Asian schools never get bullied.

The whole argument is based on a false premise anyway. The assumption is that being a socially inept loser is correlated with intelligence. The correlation is anecdotal at best, much less the argument for causation one way or the other. Hell, being a Chinese immigrant probably shows a stronger correlation with good grades. These days, everyone has to do something nerdy to get into a good college, whether it be the choir, theater, or academic competitions. So if you're feeling so fucking persecuted, get yourself a manly gun and go do some real damage. If you're actually smarter than the average bear, then you should be able to do better than the Columbine kids, who only managed to take out 15 people, most of whom weren't even their bullies, despite all their fancy weapons and boobie traps straight out of the Anarchist's Cookbook. That's hardly even a blip on the statistics, far as dead kids go.

Notice how intelligence has nothing to do with anything in the description of the archetypical nerds. I'd give them some bonus points, redeemable for nothing, if they can actually read the kanji on their anime T-shirts, but I'm prejudiced.