Personal Dork Assistant

If I had a boat...

I'd sail it on the ocean.
And if I had a pony,
I'd ride him on my boat

Lyle Lovett

Hey, there's a reason why more people read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas instead of this stupid web page. So you can read Hunter S. Thompson's column for your quickie America's Cup update.

For at least two weeks, I thought the lopsided whipping in San Diego was the most painful moment I have ever witnessed in the pain-riddled world of sports…. But not for long. Last Friday, a new champion emerged, and you didn't even have to be a sports fan to appreciate it.

Well, the Giants blowing the Series was at least as bad, but anyway.