Personal Dork Assistant

Loser of the Week (Slashdot Edition)

Yeah, because your parents wouldn't dare to piss you off while you're living in their basement.

I feel your pain with running wires. You should see my basement. It's a disaster from all my computer-related wiring. My parents aren't too thrilled, but they don't say much because they know if I don't have my network, I'll become a *very* unhappy camper.

My "high-tech" home should include broadband internet as the first, most important thing. Next would be a KVM switch thad did something unusual--it would come with wireless adapters for the PCs that draw their transmitting power from the USB so that I don't have to have a quarter mile of KVM cabling to have all my PCs hooked up to the switch. Third would be a plasma TV in the living room and each of the two bedrooms. A digital satellite system with a builtin DVR would be nice, too. And, hell, while we're at it, a 10-disc DVD changer (for watching all three Matrixmovies and the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies all in one long session). And forget the concept of the remote controls we have now--instead, I want touchscreen panels embedded in the arms of my couch and chairs, alaStar Trek: The Next Generation. I want a voice recognition system, too, so that I don't have to do everything by hand. And finally, two fiber and two cat5e drops one stud away from each electrical drop, in every room except the bathroom (WiFi for there :) ).

That's MY high-tech home.

Not a single fucking thing even remotely geeky. All it is a laundry list of techno-yuppie toys to be charged to the credit card. Well, I guess sitting through all the Matrix movies and the LotR extended-edition movies count as geeky, if you're a lard-assed-loser-geek, that is. Not to say that I wouldn't kill for some more Ethernet drops at home, but wireless will do for now, and one of these days I'll get myself some tools to run real wire through the walls. Actually, that's a pretty good shopping list he's listed, but at least wait until you move out of the parents' house before you spooge over YOUR high-tech home, eh?