Personal Dork Assistant

A new tanning salon just

A new tanning salon just opened nearby. Their slick new banners promises a grand opening special: unlimited tanning for the low, low price of $25 per month. Now, there are lots of services which are great with a set-price, unlimited-use model, but tanning doesn't sound like one of them. Talk about melanomas-R-us.

Another entry in the Silly Signs Dept., the Rock Bottom Brewery is advertising "Gartini Night," featuring cigars, martinis, and jazz. Each would be great on their own, but the combination sounds forced here. This just isn't the sort of thing for clean-cut suburban micro-breweries. Maybe The Village Vanguard can pull it off. When I saw "Gartini" in big letters, I thought they were serving Garlic Martinis for happy-hour. Now that's something a clean-cut suburban microbrewery might do.